I've been avoiding posting anything because I'm having a hard time dealing with being apart from Ronel and I don't really have much to say other than that.
Since I've been home from Haiti, I've been calling Ronel nightly - even if it is only to say goodnight and to say "I love you". I really thought that this trip would make the waiting a little easier but it has now had the opposite effect - We are both totally done and most nights one, if not both of us end up crying before we hang up. If I thought it would help, I wouldn't call every day but I know that it wouldn't help either of us, it would only make things worse! I have even begun checking the CIC application status site daily hoping & praying that the status will have changed from the day before.
I'm having a hard time because it isn't like I don't believe that God is still in charge of this whole process and I still believe that this was and IS God's plan for Ronel & I, but this isn't what married life is supposed to be. I'm not meant to be separated from my husband for more than 20 months, with no end date in sight. The fact that it is getting harder for Ronel as well is also making it harder for me - Ronel has been the one with the most patience and confidence through this whole thing and it is now wearing on him, and it is quite obvious even over the phone. My mom overheard our conversation tonight (it is over my computer and I use a microphone & speakers so anyone within hearing can hear Ronel) and she came back after I said goodbye and asked what was wrong. Without understanding what Ronel was saying, she could tell by the sound of his voice that something was wrong.
I don't doubt that Ronel will one day get his visa and be able to come to Canada, but it is when that one day will happen. I want to start life together with the man I love, I want to start a family, I want to kiss my husband goodnight and to tell him I love him in person. I want to introduce him to my family & friends. I want to go to church with Ronel, at my home church. I want to set up a home with Ronel. I want to come home to my husband after work.
so please keep praying for us and the paperwork process. It is getting harder but that just means that we need your prayers even more!
--- if you made it this far... wow! I know it was a long post and a vent at that, but that is where I am at right now.
And I will get more stories and photos from my trip to Haiti up soon!
4 comments:
Oh Sweetie! My tears & prayers today will be for you & Ronel.
I hope those papers get moving! (Is it still Can. govt we're waiting on?)
Yes, it is only the Canadian government who deals with our paperwork. Ronel's resident visa application is at the Canadian Visa Office in Port-au-Prince. As far as I understand, the Haitian government doesn't actually get involved in this process at all.
Even though I live here in Haiti with my husband,,,,,I understand the frustration. We have been trying to get a visa for my husband for over a year now. I have to travel without him each year, its like a part of you is missing. You want him to aee the things your seeing and meet your friends and family. You just want him to be beside you everyday. I understand and am praying for you both. I pray that the gov gets there butts in gear and issuses that visa for him! Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you. I can pray and will do that for the both of you. I am always interested in Hatian/foreign marriages because I am one of them and no that they can work. Don't be discouaged....keep your eyes of God and the future...kepp your chin up sister. Thank you for being opened and sharing. Where does your husband live in Haiti? Was he affected at all by the recent flooding?
Licia,
thank you so much for your comment, your thoughts & your prayers.
Thankfully Ronel was not affected by the recent flooding in Haiti. Ronel lives in Borel, just 5 mins from Hopital Albert Schweitzer in Deschapelles.
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