Opening up my heart....

okay - so this post is a little hard to write and I don't even know if anyone reads this blog anymore (other than Renee!!) since I have moved back to BC, but I need to get this all out and this seems like a good place to do it!

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Yesterday morning in church, my pastor - Pastor Tom (or PT as I will use for the rest of this post) said that he felt that there were people in the congregation who needed a specific strength for something they were going through, and that sometimes taking a step out of our comfort zone (our seat) was needed and that today no one was going to come up and pray with us individually but that we would pray as a congregation (as a family) for those who stepped forward. And that this was more between just God and us. Well, as soon as PT said a specific strength - I knew that God was talking to me. And I had two specific strengths that I need.

First was strength to get through the separation of Ronel & I for an undetermined length of time. It made me really face the fact that though I can put on a good face and be positive about this all, and I am positive about it for the most part, BUT it doesn't mean that I am all okay and that was what I really had to tell God today.[cause you know He didn't know already:)] It made me feel better though about "breaking down" sometimes and crying, being upset that we have to be so far apart for so long. (and anything past NOW is TOO long) I know that God put us together and that this was part of His plan.

Second was strength to get through my biopsy on the 26th of this month. I am scheduled for a small bowel biopsy with a gastrointestinal specialist in Vancouver to see what is going on with my insides. My doctor thinks that I may have celiac disease, which if true, would mean a HUGE lifestyle change as I would no longer be allowed to eat any wheat or gluten, which in case you didn't know is in like everything (Ok, slight exaggeration but not by much!) And while I am not looking forward to that, I am more scared about the biopsy procedure. It is invasive and there are two options (according to a search on Google) for the biopsy - either to enter through my nose and send the scope down to my lower intestines/small bowel or to enter from the other end and send the scope that way. Now - I am not sure what option is more preferable! One seems definitely shorter but not sure if it is better! I do know that I will be partially sedated and my mom is coming with me cause I won't be able to drive myself home (or that is what they tell me!) I have had SO many tests done to figure out what is going on and this is so far the only thing that came back as even an option but the blood test is not the best way to diagnose it so.... But I think that I am just nervous about what they will find. I am still waiting for my appointment to see the specialist about my malfunctioning thyroid (I know! I am falling to pieces!) Currently it isn't too bad off but my doctor wants me to see a specialist now cause this could cause problems when Ronel & I want to get pregnant.

Anyway - so as I stepped forward at the church, I just had to admit to God (and maybe even more to myself) that I STILL need Him~ that just because I am back in Canada doesn't mean that now I can do this all on my own. And while I know that God was in the middle of Ronel & I's relationship while we were in Haiti, I felt like I had been taking it bit by bit from God and that I needed to give it ALL back to Him. It's not going to be easy, but I know that it will be for the better.

Then PT's sermon was about "Seeking" - the second part of a 3 part sermon about Ask, Seek, Knock
Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.
Matthew 7:7 (New International Version)

And he mentioned how this really means KEEP Asking, KEEP Seeking, KEEP Knocking. Don't just do it once, KEEP doing it, and this hit me! I asked - once or twice, I seeked - maybe a couple of times, I might have knocked once or twice ~ anyway you get the picture ~ I needed to do the "keeping" part.

It was admitting that I needed someone other than myself that I really needed to do, and admitting that while I know that God has His hand on Ronel & I and the whole immigration process, and God knows what my biopsy results will be NOW, even before they have done the biopsy - I have to GIVE IT OVER TO HIM!

Then I was reading a friend's blog (okay - friend of a friend) and this song played when it loaded. I have never heard any of Sara Groves' music before but now I want to listen to more of her!
(I've put into italics the parts that really hit me)

go here and select the song to hear a sample of it

It's Gonna Be Alright
by Sara Groves and Gordon Kennedy

It's going to be alright
It's going to be alright

I can tell by your eyes that you're not getting any sleep
And you try to rise above it, but feel you're sinking in too deep

Oh, oh I believe, I believe that

It's going to be alright
It's going to be alright

I believe you'll outlive this pain in you heart
And you'll gain such a strength from what is tearing you apart
Oh, oh I believe I believe that

It's going to be alright
It's going to be alright

When some time has past us, and the story if retold
It will mirror the strength and the courage in your soul
Oh, oh, I believe I believe,

I believe
I believe

I did not come here to offer you cliché's
I will not pretend to know of all your pain
Just when you cannot, then I will hold out faith, for you

It's going to be alright
It's going to be alright

So I don't know what the future has in store - but with Jesus by my side it's going to be alright!

missing my kids

so today I was missing my kids (from the orphanage) and so I created a little slide show that I put in the sidebar. I think that I will occasionally switch it for other photos of the MANY that I have on my computer - from Haiti, from here, family, friends, landscape etc. Hope you enjoy!

what BCers do...

when the temperature goes below freezing and stays there....


They create their own ice rinks! First there was a photo in the paper where a family was skating on the ice that was on their road and today on my way to Langley, I saw dozens of people creating their own ice rink in fields that had flooded before the snow and are now frozen. There was atleast 30 cars parked on the side of the road (a major road too - which is why I don't have a photo, even though I had my camera. Doing 60 km/h on a fairly major & busy road isn't conducive to stopping and taking a photo!) and they had hockey nets out, and there was like 4 or 5 impromptu rinks. Coming home as I came over the hill and could see them all skating below me with the sun setting - it was a lovely sight. (again - ARGH that I couldn't get a photo!) But I thought it was a great idea. That is for those who can skate! I'd be on my butt in less time than it takes to say my name! It also was neat to see all these families out there skating together and there were games of hockey going on.

We don't see frozen fields in the lower mainland very often - especially ones that you can stand on! and so people were taking advantage of the cold weather we have been having! (It was again -8 on my way to church this morning. It warmed up to a whole 0 degrees by 4:30pm and then it gets dark, so the temperature drops again. The big news is that we are supposed to hit 2 degrees tomorrow as the high~!)

changes.....

Yes, I've changed the colours on my blog. I like playing with all the new features that Blogger now offers.

Mirlande

I saw this photo on my friend's blog and asked her to email me a copy cause I knew I had to have it!
This is SO Mirlande, and I love how the water looks in the black and white. Everytime I see photos of the kids in Haiti, I miss them, and Haiti in general. This has nothing to do with the fact that Ronel is there, but that my heart is there - with the kids I worked with, the people I became friends with, the beauty of the country and yes, my husband. But I know that even after Ronel is here in Canada with me, I will always miss Haiti. The people & the country had my heart from the first time I set foot on the soil in February of 2002. And reading blogs of people still living there, and also of people that are adopting from there just remind me how much I fell in love with Haiti -

Enjoy the photo!

Girls' Day Out

Well, this post is a little delayed but whatever! Last week I got a call at work saying I had won tickets to the Wedding Fair in Vancouver. So, I called up my girlfriend who is getting married in June and we went off for a day of fun last Saturday. Well, it was a good time indeed!
Because we are planning on having some sort of reception after Ronel arrives, I went as a bride to the fair and so you get to enter into TONS of draws for lots of free stuff as well as a chance to win an $87,000 dream wedding, which Shealyn entered. We got lots of info on all aspects of planning a wedding and saw some neat ideas, but it was also crazy! There were SO MANY people there and it was absolutely packed everywhere you turned! It was a good girls' day out though and it was nice to spend time with Shealyn, as we haven't done as much of that as we would like to, between my job and her school schedule we are busy people!

I don't think I have won any prizes from the fair but they haven't posted the winners yet but I am happy that I won the tickets to the fair and that I got the chance to go and see everything they had to offer.

what is this white stuff??

Tuesday night at about 10pm, snow started falling and it didn't stop until last night around 7pm. I awoke at 6am yesterday and went out, shoveled the walkway, driveway and all around my car (which is parked on the road) and then cleared off my car. I then came back inside, showered and went back to lie down for an hour!

The view out my living room window at 6am Wednesday morning (that is my little car hidden behind the big white bush)

I then got up and drove to work (stopping along the way at Walmart & Superstore to do shopping for work), I got to work safely at 10:30am Wednesday morning and drove out of the parking lot today at 3pm!! We were not able to transport kids to school yesterday or today because of the road conditions and also staff numbers - today we had like 5 staff not in because of the snow!

Around 4pm, with the snow still falling, I started getting concerned about driving home and having to be back at work at 7:30 the next morning. I mentioned this to Terri, our director and she said that her and Eli -her husband were planning on staying at the church(daycare) cause they would need to be here at 7am in case other staff didn't arrive. So, we decided to spend the night together at the church - we walked( or tromped as my friend Renee called it) up to Safeway to buy some food for dinner and then lunch today, got a movie for the kids and some warm beverages from Starbucks for the way home and then we tromped back to the church - much harder on the way back! By the time we got back, we were tired so we made dinner (Theresa nachos which Terri says are the best!) and then we watched some episodes of Murder She Wrote on DVD (on the nice big screen we have at the church--- projector and screen) and then set up our "sleeping areas" Because we have group care which is under 5 year olds, we have sleep mats so Eli got out those and set them up and then pushed over the nice couch from the church lobby and so Terri and Eli took the sleep mats and gave me the couch - for which I am very thankful! Around midnight we (Terri & I) went to sleep while Eli went back down to watch a movie! (just a bit crazy!) I woke up a couple times in the night but slept quite nice and was warm, which was nice - I thought I was going to be cold.


Eli & Terri all bundled up ready for our trip to the store

We woke up early this morning, checked out the school closure lists (none were closed except the private school we service) and then we waited for parents to show up - which they did! Some were okay with the fact that we would not be taking their kids to school, others decided that they would take them to school themselves, and then we had a fun snow day with the kids, we went outside and played in the snow, slid down the parking lot on crazy carpets and had fun digging the bus out of the snow! I managed to dig my car out of all the snow that had covered it in all the time it had sat in the parking lot (27 1/2 hours!) and it even started (my car doesn't like the cold and can be hard to start some mornings!)I have decided that this is not the weather for me!


my car - this is only the snow that fell between 11am & 6pm yesterday!

HUSBAND UPDATE
Oh - I just talked to Ronel and all the photos and paperwork I sent to him (via a group going down from Yarmouth Nova Scotia) arrived safely in his hands yesterday and he is already handing out the photos I sent for different people! I love being able to call my husband and talk to him whenever I want! Yeah for technology and SKYPE!

Warm wishes from COLD BC
(it is supposed to be -17 today with windchill - too cold for this gal with Haitian heat blood!)

5 things.....

things you don't know about me.







1. I have two pieces of bone "floating" around in my body - one in my left hand (just below the bottom of my thumb), and the other in my right wrist.
2. In 28 years, I have lived in 18 homes (at that point you start to lose count!) and that number will grow once Ronel arrives in Canada and we get our own place!
3. I became an auntie for the first time at the age of 9
4. My oldest sister and my youngest uncle are only 10 months apart in age.
5. I was born on the exact same day & year as Jennifer Love Hewitt.


I got this idea off a friend's blog - it is an online version of tag.
so.... TAG, you're it!
(you can leave your list of 5 things we don't know about you in the comments section)

my visit to Victoria

I had a wonderful visit to Victoria to visit family there. I caught the 7am ferry and was in Victoria by 9am where I was greeted by my Nanna & my Aunt Linda. (My Nanna just recently moved to Victoria and so wasn't sure about the Victoria ferry terminal so my aunt drove her to the ferry so she wouldn't have any problems getting there.) It was wonderful to see them both and my Nanna gave me a big hug and it felt like she didn't want to let go. My aunt dropped us off at my Nanna's place. Nanna & I went in and she showed me around her new apartment. She then prepared herself a small breakfast and we looked over my wedding photos that I had brought along and then we went out to visit my great aunt Noreen (my Nanna's sister) who lives in a care home. I haven't seen her in many many years but went with my Nanna to visit. She was a dear sweet lady even though she may not have totally knows who I was, I enjoyed visiting with her. I don't know many of my relatives on my dad's side - I have heard stories about them from my Nanna, I don't really know any of them other than my uncle and his family. My Nanna and I then went to Sears to pick up some items she had ordered through their catalogue. We then went home and had a wee rest. I even fell asleep for a little while but that is probably a result of the lack of sleep the night before! I woke up to wonderful smells coming from the kitchen - my Nanna had invited over Uncle Mark, Aunt Linda, my cousin Becky, and my cousin Carmen & her husband Carson for dinner. It was great seeing all of them again - it has been over 5 years since I saw my cousin Carmen and her husband. The last time I saw them they were newlyweds and my friend Dana was going to school at Royal Roads University in Victoria. That was a long time ago! Sunday we slept in and then enjoyed a lovely breakfast, read and relaxed and went to Beacon Hill Park to take a walk. After we got too cold outdoors we drove home and then walked up the block to the mall where we walked some more, and did a little shopping. Both my Nanna & I found some nice tops at Sears and at 40% off you couldn't say no! Afterwards we came home, had dinner with a friend of my Nanna's and talked and looked at photos - both my wedding photos and photos from when I was a kid. I then drove Tortoise (my Nanna's friend - she is Norwegian and that is her name) home and came back. My Nanna then got ready for bed and I stayed up to read a bit. But by 10:30pm I had to head off to bed as well! (so much for any big New Year's Eve plans!! hehe) Monday was my last day in Victoria and we started early - first a quick breakfast and then off to Wal-Mart to develop photos of my time in Victoria and photos we had taken of the family on Saturday night, then home for lunch and grab all my stuff and then off we went. First we picked up Tortoise as she had asked if she could come for the ride to the ferry, then to Wal-Mart to pick up the photos and quickly divide them up into what I was taking with me and what my Nanna was keeping. Then off to the ferry terminal - where there were HUGE line-ups of both people and cars. There was a 2 sailing wait for cars and the line up for walk on passengers was overflowing to outside the terminal. There were 2 automated ticket machines where you can get your ticket by paying with credit or debit card and the line up was much shorter so I went to that line, praying that I would make it onto the 3pm ferry and not have to wait 2 hours for the next boat. When I got to the waiting area, it was PACKED! I got on the 3pm ferry and it was a full sailing - they even came on the speaker system and told people to please vacate the cafeteria when they were done so that the people waiting could find places to sit, and that this was a full sailing. There were people sitting everyone, in the corner, on the floor, anywhere you could find a empty spot - there were people. I walked around the ferry for a bit and finally found a quiet corner in the back of the ferry near the Pacific Buffet room is (where for a price, you can enjoy a buffet and have a beautiful view out the rear windows on the ferry (this is only on the Victoria ferries I believe - it is much different on the ones to Nanaimo where I usually go on the ferry) It was a rough ride once we got out past all the Gulf Islands. When we were coming into Tsawassen, the lights at the dock were disappearing and reappearing in the windows cause the boat was going up and down so much. It was fun for all of us trying to stand in line as we waited to dock so we could walk off the ferry. Terri & Eli came to pick me up in the pouring rain for which I am very thankful, especially since they had to wait around for almost a half an hour cause the boat was late plus the time it took for me to get off the boat with all those people.

I enjoyed my time in Victoria and plan on making that trip a little more frequently and getting to know that side of my family better.

Happy New Year!

cool....

I found this cool site where you can make these slideshows (they call them photo flicks) and so I thought I would post one.

Cool Slideshows